Maintain composure at all costs.

And I do. Most times. I also owe you all an apology. I don't want to talk about it. Yes, you deserve to know. That still doesn't make me want to talk about it. Oh, and to top everything off, I lost my cellphone sometime on Saturday. I was certain that I had it on our way to Sherman, but it's nowhere in the car and I didn't take it in anywhere we went cuz I knew it was dying. Yes, I went ahead and called all of the places, but with no luck. =( It makes everything worse somehow. But, back to the original subject. I've held onto this since Tuesday, not knowing how to say it. I also didn't want to have to say it. I've only told three people (it's looking as if that problem will soon be resolved...) and Kendle told the church staff in their meeting on Wednesday. Other than that, nobody knows.You see? I'm letting you in on a little secret. I hope you feel special!
I've been "let go" from my job. I like can handle that term a little better than "fired" when it's me we're talking about.
I cried, ok? Not uncontrollably, nor for very long, but I cried. I told myself I wouldn't. I just didn't plan for Denise being the one to tell me. I guess I just had it in my head that it would be different. I had daydreamed of someone else getting flustered and telling me to pack up and go. I knew it wouldn't be legit that way. My little way of escaping reality. Ha. Yes...that works every time, right? So what's the story? I could tell you, but you already know that I don't want to talk about it. Ok, ok! You're hurting my arm.
Tuesday evening Denise dropped by my office and asked if she could talk to me for a minute before I left for the day. I finished up my stuff, shut down my computer, and then made my way to her office. I knew. I really knew. But I pushed that though almost completely aside. Defensive strategy, you know? If you expect the best, you won't be all nervous and you'll take even the worst with more dignity.
But that doesn't stop the tears. Not when you've invested two years of your life in something that you love. It's a bit of a personal insult to me. I knew I wouldn't be the very last, but I also knew thought that I'd be somewhere in the middle. But, first? Yes, I understand that I'm going to college and am only here part-time. But if you're looking to cut costs, wouldn't that help you? I know there was more than downsizing going on. It's not needed this soon. I'm not saying that arrogantly, either. I just know a lot about how the hens have been playing since the rooster has been out of the house.
I'll let you know more about all of this as it pans out. I have talked to a few other people about jobs and I know that I'll get the one that God has in store for me. I guess my last day will be sometime between Wednesday and Friday. Like I said, I'll let you know.

In reply to Nichola's bloggery...which was a reply to elsewho's bloggery...

Thank YOU! THANK YOU!!! Now, go read this:

http://peachfarmerswife.blogspot.com/2008/09/excuse-me.html

I get so sick of "How's the sex life coming along?" Ok, they never say that, but I still think that sums it up pretty well. In my personal situation, I got married at, yes, a very young age. At the time we were "too young to get married," and yet it only took about 4 months for those doom and gloom people to start asking if I had gotten pregnant on my honeymoon. Again, a (this time only slight) paraphrase. Who's logic are they using? If I'm too young to begin building a lifelong relationship/commitment with a man, then how in this world am I ready to raise a child with him? Or at all, for that matter? If I am incapable of having a relationship, what are the reasons? Is it immaturity? Undeniably, yes. If this is so, then how am I going to raise a child up and teach h(im/er) maturity? It's not possible. Oh, and yes, I know what comes next. "Well, you can't wait until you're ready. You'll never be ready." Really? Cuz I could argue that, too. For the sake of time, though, I'll stay on subject and simply argue that you're taking what I said completely out of context. I didn't say, "When everything's perfect and when we're mature enough, we'll have children." I don't think that. Not at all. I simply asked why people think that they know what you should do, when you should do it, and even how, if you catch my drift. My point is the same as Nichola's. Mind your own beeswax! Let people make their own lives unique. Your misfortune may make someone else's life heavenly. Likewise, your fortune may be their hell on earth. Oh, and just one more tidbit...I know people who are having trouble getting pregnant. No, I'm not talking about Kendle and I. I saw that look on your face. But here's the deal, pressure from family and friends is very hurtful. Imagine every time you get a cold people are teasing you about being pregnant. It happens to me, yes. I laugh it off. But some wish they were and you're hurting their feelings. Lay off a bit. Let people have sex (or not, if they prefer) without you sticking your head around the corner to see what's going on. (see, I didn't say anything mean there, but I really thought about it.) If I'm being too graphic forgive me. It's my blog. Bug off! Feel free to comment. By the time I read your comment my steamy mood will be long gone and I won't tear you to shreads. Promise.

"...you've got Biden, who's all 'Bideny' there."

So...Seth's blog question was answered by a long, long comment from Deborar. When I was ending it, I remembered about this little video that I saw a couple days ago. I thought I'd share it with you. Stick with it even though it's a tad long. It's worth one or two laughs and might spur your pea-brain to think a tad. Yes, I can say that. It's my blog for Pete's sakes! Ok. Watch this and let me know what you think.*




*Feel free to call me crazy only after you watch the entire video.

school...my favorite subject

I took two marvelous tests this week and have another one on Monday. They would all come at the same time. The study guide my Chem teacher gave us on Friday was about 6-8 pages long, so I was pretty nervous about that test until I got to class on Monday and he told us that there were only 26 Questions on the test. I already knew it was multiple choice, but I thought it was going to be more like 50+ questions. I found out yesterday that my unofficial score is 78. That's a little worse than what I expected after taking the test, but I'm not too surprised. He said that there will be a curve, but doesn't know how much yet. I'm praying that it's 14 points. He said that's what it was sort of looking like on Wednesday, but the girls who are good in this class were taking the test that day. He said he may do the curve based on percentage if there are only one or two people who ace the test.
Enough on Chemistry and on to Psychology!
I am very confident that I made a 95+ on that test! Was I worried about that one? Oh, YES! I had four chapters worth of vocabulary to learn. It was about 15 words per chapter and about 5 other questions about different people, etc. I went to my glossary and wrote out every word and studied all day yesterday. I didn't know whether it would be multiple choice or if we had to write definitions out or match words to definitions or what. I guess this caused me to study harder. Turns out, It was a looong test, but it was multiple choice. I wouldn't be very surprised if I didn't miss any of them. I guess, English is my stronger subject, though. Now that I think about it, I usually do fine on vocabulary tests. It's just that I usually have words a that I'm a little bit familiar with. Some of these were crazy. They were terminology more than just words. I can tell you what gender is, but behaviorism and social theory? I could make a stab at a good guess. Anyhow, I blew through that sucker, re-checked a few questions and determined that I had done my best, turned that baby in and got back to town by 12:50.
Ooooh! And then I went to Pizza Hut and got one of those delicious Chicken Alfredo Pastas...YUM!
American Government Test on Monday, here I come! (25Questions, multi-choice...meh...not so bad...)

Cadillac:

Even as I typed the word in my last blog I was wondering if Cadillacs were named after that ridiculously small, yet oh-so-important part of the exhaust system. Were the two words even spelt the same as one another? Of course they were. What a dumb thought. From now on, I'll have to pay closer attention to my little gut. -ok, fine, it's not little. not yet, anyhow.- It would do me well to look things up and to research what I say on here. I guess I just see it as wasting time that should be spent working. It's twisted logic, I know. I use the time I "saved" going back and fixing things.

I think know that i need to be getting up earlier in the mornings and fixing breakfast/exercising/etc. You know how you read all the time on exercise websites and motivational e-mails that "if you really want get/stay motivated, sign up for a race... run a 10 K..." and it seems like something for people in another world, you know? But I just found out that our bank is going to have a "Fall Furry Race" on October 4th. They're doing a 10(6.21mi)K and a 5K(3.10mi). I am thinking about running the 10K. I am going to start training next week (or maybe tomorrow) and will make a decision soon. If I think I won't be ready for it in time, I'll go for the 5K. I'll keep you posted. Let me know what you think!

Useless Trivia: I used to be afraid of running. I had really bad knee problems for several years.