Maintain composure at all costs.

And I do. Most times. I also owe you all an apology. I don't want to talk about it. Yes, you deserve to know. That still doesn't make me want to talk about it. Oh, and to top everything off, I lost my cellphone sometime on Saturday. I was certain that I had it on our way to Sherman, but it's nowhere in the car and I didn't take it in anywhere we went cuz I knew it was dying. Yes, I went ahead and called all of the places, but with no luck. =( It makes everything worse somehow. But, back to the original subject. I've held onto this since Tuesday, not knowing how to say it. I also didn't want to have to say it. I've only told three people (it's looking as if that problem will soon be resolved...) and Kendle told the church staff in their meeting on Wednesday. Other than that, nobody knows.You see? I'm letting you in on a little secret. I hope you feel special!
I've been "let go" from my job. I like can handle that term a little better than "fired" when it's me we're talking about.
I cried, ok? Not uncontrollably, nor for very long, but I cried. I told myself I wouldn't. I just didn't plan for Denise being the one to tell me. I guess I just had it in my head that it would be different. I had daydreamed of someone else getting flustered and telling me to pack up and go. I knew it wouldn't be legit that way. My little way of escaping reality. Ha. Yes...that works every time, right? So what's the story? I could tell you, but you already know that I don't want to talk about it. Ok, ok! You're hurting my arm.
Tuesday evening Denise dropped by my office and asked if she could talk to me for a minute before I left for the day. I finished up my stuff, shut down my computer, and then made my way to her office. I knew. I really knew. But I pushed that though almost completely aside. Defensive strategy, you know? If you expect the best, you won't be all nervous and you'll take even the worst with more dignity.
But that doesn't stop the tears. Not when you've invested two years of your life in something that you love. It's a bit of a personal insult to me. I knew I wouldn't be the very last, but I also knew thought that I'd be somewhere in the middle. But, first? Yes, I understand that I'm going to college and am only here part-time. But if you're looking to cut costs, wouldn't that help you? I know there was more than downsizing going on. It's not needed this soon. I'm not saying that arrogantly, either. I just know a lot about how the hens have been playing since the rooster has been out of the house.
I'll let you know more about all of this as it pans out. I have talked to a few other people about jobs and I know that I'll get the one that God has in store for me. I guess my last day will be sometime between Wednesday and Friday. Like I said, I'll let you know.